Metal Blade Records - 2002
5.5/10
I often wonder how many bands, in the year of our lord 2025, look back at their 2000s sequel to a 1980s album of perfection and think "maybe that just wasn't the best idea"; probably none. The weaker parts of both King Diamond-fronted bands are something I tend to chalk up to overwork and overambition, but I'm afraid I just can't grant the same excuse to Abigail II: The Revenge. The monstrosity that is The Graveyard still takes the cake in terms of poor execution, but man, at least its existence warrants some discussion brought to the table. As for this, finding that is quite a task (but one I'm willing to take up).
In layman's terms, what I'm saying is that musically Abigail II: The Revenge isn't the worst thing you'll ever hear. It's competent, nothing really stands out as laughably bad or overly awkward, the general attitude somewhat follows the simplified heavy metal of old with plenty of melody, galloping riff work, and the signature wail of our favorite falsetto front man. But that's literally it; absolutely nothing stands out on this in terms of worthwhile moments. To make boring almost insulting, the flat production almost highlights the tired sounding nature of this disc. Again, it would be wrong to say it's objectively unlistenable. Songs like "Miriam," "Broken Glass" and "Slippery Stairs" do the spooky metal concept style exactly as you'd expect, but even these feel empty. Equally, there are also a few that outright suck like "More Than Pain" and the overly long "Mommy." Regardless of if it's simply sufficient or pretty bad, gone are the soft eerie licks that bring on the anticipation, gone are the energetic pummels topped with catchy leads, and gone are memorable synths and garnishes that really seal that signature sound. Distinguishing one song from another is harder to do than most meat and potatoes death metal albums, and what we're left with is a proverbial corpse without its soul (lol).
Essentially, this is what I imagine would happen if a King Diamond cover band decided to write an album; musicians that know the ropes spitting out what seems like telling AI to write a spooky heavy metal record that may work as background music at a Halloween party and nothing else. If you want a sequel to Abigail, I'd sooner point you to Voodoo as it has some stark similarities story wise, however even that album needed some work in its own way. Otherwise, this is completely skippable, and my harsher words are owed entirely to me wishing this didn't exist. Spend fifty-three minutes doing something else, as long as that something else isn't Operation: Mindcrime II.
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