UMe - 2012
3/10
Fair warning, I will be breaking my normal rules for reviews, and much of this will be about the idea of the album rather than the album itself. Kiss followed up Sonic Boom nearly three years to the day with Monster, a disc of the same lineup, keeping the makeup, and musically remaining virtually the same as well. In other words, it’s another same-size helping of the most generic, aged, and uninspiring rock ‘n roll that we got three years prior. It’s very difficult for me to say that someone should stop making art, but when it feels so dull that you’re not even sure that the band wanted to do it, you’re better off just channeling that energy into something else entirely, be it a musical project or just another art form.
There have been instances of this working in the past. Alice Cooper has had a few worthwhile discs in more recent years, but keep in mind that the better ones came with a complete change in musical makeup, a story concept to work around, and different musicians to contribute to writing (keep in mind that “worthwhile” isn’t the same as “great”). Van Halen had one (note: only one) reunion record with David Lee Roth and left with a solid impression. By the time of writing this review (2023), many glam metal and thrash acts of the ‘80s are reaching the point Kiss had reached in 2012, and the only way they’re holding on is because of something mentioned above (see Queensryche, Obituary, Blue Oyster Cult, Kreator). Otherwise, it’s just as disastrous (see Ozzy Osbourne, Ministry, Bon Jovi) or at best, fine but kinda repetitive (see Overkill, Stryper, Testament). This is not a be all end all scale, but more often than not, patterns show themselves rather clearly. Aerosmith would reach the same fate as Kiss around the same time with Music From Another Dimension.
The reason why this is all relevant is because Kiss fell into this trap with not one, but two albums in a row that boast the same boring, tired crap that they’d be better off having not released. Monster has no concept to work with, no dramatic shift in sound, no truly young blood to at least appear relevant, and it didn’t just happen to get lucky like others have here and there (if we’re being real, that likely is what happened with Blue Oyster Cult). Not a single track on here stands out as anything outside of the same background rock music that only further proves that ending with Psycho Circus should have been the move. It’s been over ten years since its release, and I hope to hell that it stays that way, especially since the band is (apparently) done touring soon. I can’t imagine what a 70-something year old Kiss would yield, if they couldn’t create anything even decent as 60-somethings. And really, if they hired some guns, would it really be Kiss in anything but name? As AC/DC have told us, money talks, and this is just a personification of that very notion.
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