Album Review: Alice Cooper - Brutal Planet

Alice Cooper - Brutal Planet

Spitfire Records - 2000

7/10

It’s almost uncanny how Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne align. Thrived in bands in the ‘70s, reinvented themselves as solo artists, re-grew in the ‘80s, and went out with a bittersweet bang in the early ‘90s. Yet, they both continued chugging along, lobbing over anything from decent to garbage following 1995, and they both went the Rob Zombie route in the early 2000s. Enter Brutal Planet, the heavy, downtuned riff monster with industrial tappings.

The real weakness is how on-the-nose things are here. Thankfully, being a newer idea for the Coop, it aged decently enough and the songs are written well. The consistency is also pretty on par for the most part. But the lyrics have some serious “born again” and “everyone in the world sucks now that I’m sober” energy that lays it down, feeling very in-your-face. But again, there’s no denying how crushing the energy is on the title track; its backing vocals leading to an explosive chorus, the vocal bridge, and the general atmosphere is burning hot. Truly a fierce note to open on. 

Brutal Planet did put a little too many eggs in the title track basket, however. Because nothing else fully measures up to it. This isn’t to say there’s nothing else worthwhile. Songs like “Eat Some More” smear this energy to an even heavier level, just less cohesive. Even though most of this is held up by doomier, steady chugging, faster songs with a bit of gallop break it up some. “Sanctuary” throws back to the more metal-oriented construction on the later ‘80s albums. Its verses are pretty lame, but “It’s The Little Things” manages to swing this approach with less error. The only glaring complaint outside of edgier lyrics is attempting a ballad here. “Take It Like A Woman” falls very short of anything flattering, and I struggle through this song.

View this record as the groundwork for what to expect moving forward. There are things worth digging up, but you may have to dig through some shit. Some albums pull it off better than others, and thankfully this one is absolutely a worthwhile spin as a whole. Moreover, it’s just the last nail in the coffin to prove how well Alice can stretch his core to fit a modern narrative. Unfortunately, the era of anything classic or essential died with The Last Temptation.