Alice Cooper - Zipper Catches Skin
Warner Bros Records - 1982
5.5/10
Instead of correcting the errors that hurt an otherwise solid album, Alice Cooper would follow up with something even more vague. Zipper Catches Skin strips away some of the weirdness (while injecting other weirdness) that hurt Special Forces, but with that went certain things that made the standouts too. The end result? A new wave but also toned-down rock ‘n roll record that isn’t criminally bad but contains very little context.
With that said, this one has admittedly grown on me, despite taking the longest out of anything in this era. It’s certainly the most guitar-oriented album since the mid-’70s, relying less on keyboards for the leads. Unfortunately, even the songs with catchy parts tend to go nowhere. The silly-titled “No Baloney Homosapians” opens on a fun lick but feels incredibly underwhelming when the chorus is reached. Others only stick out because of sound effects or off-guard ticks, such as opener “Zorro’s Accent.”
Matter of fact, Zipper Catches Skin probably contains memorability by accident. What this means is that most of the actual music feels dull and forced, but the little side ingredients like the spoken ramblings in “Tag, You’re It!” add a little light. The bassy rhythms and galloping progression in most of this does very little, yet I still find myself looking forward to goofy vocal toppings that always come with them. “I Like Girls” is objectively a terrible song, but can I really say I hate it?
I’d probably call this one of the best examples of a love/hate relationship album. One one hand, I usually look forward to hearing it, but on the other hand it’s even more frustrating than its predecessor. I’ve heard it so many times that I probably just about gaslit myself into somewhat liking it. I have to give it credit for at least somehow managing to hold interest, similar to Pretties For You. Just about anything beats Lace & Whiskey.
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