Album Review: King Diamond - Conspiracy

King Diamond - Conspiracy

Roadrunner Records - 1989

9.5/10

Reaching the turn of the decade, King Diamond would make a somewhat bold move in giving us a "part two" to the former record. While it may seem I'm tough on that one, it was ultimately a strong path paved for walking so that its counterpart could run. Thus, Conspiracy brings forth a similar vibe that cleans up the very subtle issues I took on "Them". The theatric elements feel placed with more purpose, the atmosphere is roughened up, and the already strong songwriting amps the hooks to a great degree.

Intensity is something that makes itself clear quite quickly, which fits the vibe of a now old King returning to face his (literal) demons. The band has somewhat made a reputation of crawling in with some bells and whistles, building up with suspense, and then kicking things off. Conspiracy sees a completely different approach, with our famous "At The Graves" and "Sleepless Nights" duo working as one of the greatest one-two punch openers of all time. Extremely fast riffing, technical prowess with dramatic shifts in tone, and thick layers that still retain a raw feeling paint such an incredible and horrific picture. I mean really, it's like someone throwing the intensity of "Abigail" right to your face at the beginning in "At The Graves." And the catchiness that manages to weave its way into "Sleepless Nights?" Forget it! Those acoustic guitars swing into galloping chops with a memorable chorus so nicely.

Yet, I've talked nothing beyond the first two tracks. The exact same surgical-precision carefully crafts noticeably intricate passages together with effects not only added in the right spots, but taking the forefront with full sincerity when necessary. The second half of the album consists mainly of shorter tunes weaved together in such a fluid matter. "Let It Be Done" is the only track that merely exists as a bridge, but it stabilizes the drastic mood shift wonderfully between the equally somber and terrifying "Victimized" and "Cremation," an absolutely perfect sendoff. The former crafts the climax with loads of horror-drenched emotion and suspense, rigging up chants and a harpsichord to aid the intricate leads, while the latter is like a simpler cool-off that marches us to the grave; I simply cannot love the slow unraveling of guitar and keyboard layers here enough. Moreover, ""Amon" Belongs To "Them"" invokes similar feelings of defeat with whinier leads and hopeless howls from King. The dash of toppings in this one add so much, helping with our descent into the guitar wails and synth melodies of "Something Weird."

King Diamond elaborates on a lot of this within the longer tracks, even outside of the epic opener. "A Visit From The Dead" is such a unique one, almost working like a dark ballad that utilizes beautiful acoustics to its advantage, tricking us into a false sense of security; even its heavier part seems somber compared to what's to come. "The Wedding Dream" follows that up with its sinister organ-meets-drum pummels breaking wonderfully into a steady gallop, before the second half of the track invokes those familiar feelings of insanity. If there's a single song that feels like it could have been cut, it may be "Lies," but its a necessary one for the sake of the story, and still isn't even remotely bad.

In hindsight, it's almost fun to look at Conspiracy as the story itself, and view its predecessor as a prequel that dove into the lore that brought us where we are. Up to this point, King's solo discography is pretty untouchable, but the idea presented here feels more full, more concise, and more complete. We're met with so many emotions, so much terror, so many intricate tricks and fuming craftsmanship that couldn't have been pieced together better if they tried.

Album Review: King Diamond - "Them"

King Diamond - "Them"

Roadrunner Records - 1988

8/10

When your entire musical career has basically been a giant case of "wow, it will be tough to follow that up!" you're susceptible to eventually realizing it. King Diamond's third solo effort "Them" is a fantastic record, which few would dispute; it's just the fact that everything King has touched to this point has set the bar astronomically high. Thus, said third installment may feel regressive by comparison, even though in a vacuum there isn't a lot to complain about. As a side note, this is probably one my favorite album covers in the entire discography.

As a whole, it paints its picture with familiar colors of the signature wails, falsettos, harmony, and spooky melodies for everything to rest on. As a first, we have the front man himself playing a character, working like an inevitable first-person narrative, that utilizes the same shades of suspense through galloping progression, pummeling drum kicks, and different layers of tones to sift through. In short, the formula isn't much different than what we got before with Abigail, a fine place to draw inspiration from. Start to finish, the glaring difference is the general flow, as moods seem to change more often from song to song rather than from supposed "acts" of several songs together.

Much of that is owed to arrangement and placement. Utilization of catchy hooks don't appear as often as one might expect, and sharp leads as muscular padding fall into the role of traditional guitar solos more often than they do as transitions or pairings with verses. Absolutely nothing from that formula sticks out as wrong, but it does become harder to find moments that press deep into the emotions, be it for a scare or some other affect. What's good about this is that the best moments are truly immaculate. "The Invisible Guests" is rightfully a staple, raking in powerful riff sequences and haunting coatings that add wonderful life to the hooky chorus. The uneasy intro of "Mother's Getting Weaker" is a great tone-setter as the story shifts to the parts around unclean spirits affecting the family, and the Twilight Zone-adjacent affects in "The Accusation Chair" break beautifully into a power-stance riff. Hell, even "Twilight Symphony" drives discomfort and perhaps sadness into the skin with its tragic ending, even though by this point on the record I'm ready for things to wrap up.

Where "Them" falls short just boils down to leaning too hard into the horror-cartoon narrative that worked so well before as a crutch. Songs like "Tea" feel like reworked filler to simply fit a vibe, and I'm not much a fan of the disjointed center of "Bye, Bye Missy," especially because its thunderous opening is such a great reflection of the action's climax. Moreover, three of the eleven tracks are theatric non-songs that didn't need to be their own tracks. Regardless, most of this is still a fantastic experience, and it's fair to say I'm hard on it because of the precedence set before. The bigger picture has a few holes one can poke, yet certain parts alone are greater than the sum.

Album Review: King Diamond - Abigail

King Diamond - Abigail

Roadrunner Records - 1987

10/10

Goosebumps. Every single time “that must be it!” followed by Mickey Dee’s drum pummels hit.

It’s often unknown if a solo artist who had built a name for themselves in a band will continue after dropping just one album, or if they’ll leave their effort as a one-off experiment. We can thank our lucky stars that King Diamond didn’t go that route, as it would be almost insulting to not follow up something as fantastic as Fatal Portrait. Abigail not only answers this question, but makes it known that this is a full-time gig, here to stay. If the quality itself doesn’t give that away, then the consistent lineup acting as an Alice Cooper band-era reflection should.

Simply put, the sophomore King Diamond record is the cementation of what was tampered with prior, exchanging good rotten fun for a complete anecdote. Like many of the classic King records, this is simply an added bonus, not just the reason for its excellency. As terrifying as a story about 19th century rich folk experiencing ghostly creatures before the discovery of a murderous demon child is, the presentation of this is what actually sells it. Every moving part in the correct direction is where the vibrancy truly shines. Immaculate timing for every guitar passage, different tones of outburst from the frontman, beautiful drum fills without letting up on the energy, the rising and simmering of intensity; without one of these, the engine’s pistons just wouldn’t fire on all cylinders.

Transitions are a bigger deal than what many give credit for, and Abigail has a serious ear for that. “The Family Ghost” is one of the tunes that bounces all over the place, setting the mood for the characters with what feels like chaos. But I’m of the belief it's built to lead into clarity, as a howling descent into the softest lick on the record in “The 7th Day Of July 1777” signifies a vision in one of the catchiest choruses on the record. Utilization of panic through King’s voice and the trembling riff builds make the payoff that much better. You get another healthy helping of this with the “Arrival” / “A Mansion In Darkness” duo, as the former works in steadier gallops that still exude intensity, feeling like the very warning the horsemen give. Meanwhile, “A Mansion In Darkness” is one of the heaviest songs on the record, upping the intensity to lend credence to the malignant shadows that are soon to materialize before our very eyes.

Are you with me so far? Good, because the final duo of “The Possession” and the title track are where we reach our climax, burning all of this to the ground with hellfire built on supremely evil-cladded guitar and vocal outbursts. Matching the catchiness of “7th Day,” the title track nods towards it by still maintaining sharp melody, but trading clean for mean in slower chugs and deeper snarls. Don’t even get me started on the opening gallop of this one, and I also don’t think there could have been a better track for a synth solo outing. “The Possession” gives similar energy by leading with simpler stomps, only to unleash some of the nastiest fills, bounciest basslines, and wonky solos that invoke the feeling of being hexed. Those acoustics and hissing effects are mere icing on the cake.

All else in attendance works to tie together these massive chunks that almost feel like acts in and of themselves. “Omens” successfully takes us out of the throwback to pave the path towards the climax, “Funeral” is like our opening credits, and closer “Black Horsemen” crafts an epic around somber hopelessness and underlying despair like a post-credits scene that came full circle to the first track. It’s a reminder to the listener not only of the advanced musicianship that surrounds this record, but also that we truly are never safe.

If nothing else, Abigail absolutely nails that balance of not cleaning things up to the degree of scrubbing away the spooky grime, but touching up the spaces between to allow for perfect fluidity. Not a single sporadic solo is out of place, no bassline goes unfelt, and the signature falsettos and howls are as on point as they could possibly be. Using solos in place of verses from time to time works better than any record I can think of, and the way it's all patched together is nothing short of remarkable. I throw praise towards Fatal Portrait more often, as it’s the fun disc, working in the campy horror element alongside sharper standouts, but I’d be a fool to act like its follow-up isn’t objectively better, if not more sophisticated.

Album Review: Funeralopolis - ...Of Deceit And Utter Madness

Funeralopolis - …Of Deceit And Utter Madness

Memento Mori - 2020

9/10

Finding a band named after an extremely boring stoner band (yeah, get at me) and discovering it wasn’t mimicking that style was a welcome surprise, especially after seeing the album art. Five years ago, the Swiss doom/death outfit Funeralopolis dropped one of the thickest and most monstrous records in that style. Titled, …Of Deceit And Utter Madness, it works as a perfect balance between that cavernous muck feeling and straightforward explosions, with an obvious hint of stonerism. To say the least, I find that to be a unique trait within this subgenre.

Giving credit where it’s due, the guitar tones and the droney tint that often comes with stoner/doom is what helps this stand out. The echo-like production allowing the powerful snares to also pop through as a compliment to the extremely dense riffing was also a fantastic touch. These tactics tend to make their presence in the slower, drawn-out parts that squeeze out more focus on rhythm, often preceding faster and chaotic outbursts that revert back to the horrific element that surrounds everything. Most importantly, it’s all pulled off in under forty minutes, hitting the sweet spot without needing to lay on fifty-five minutes of unwanted meandering.

Perhaps some of my favorite moments in …Of Deceit And Utter Madness are the buzzsaw riffs that take the forefront with a repetitive arc (in a good way), as they never overstay their welcome. “House Of West” even pulls off a droning cool-off before letting in a bass lick paired with doomy leads, before breaking into another pummeling wall of death metal battery. Grating tones that up the ante add weight to the already established buzz, unfolding beautifully on the following “Witchcraft Horror,” especially when the drums just reign relentlessly on the latter part of the song. Things reach a boiling point in the burning pit of “The Envenomed King,” reaching critical mass in an avalanche of riffs and shrieking vocals, collapsing into relentless death metal fervor.

Funeralopolis doesn’t do anything that hasn’t been done before, but I don’t think I’ve ever found a band that knows how to balance these specific ingredients so well. They let on a touch of the stoner influence without allowing proverbial smoke to overwhelm and consume the vibe. The pacing feels natural at every moment, the changes in delivery swing in at just the right times, and an overall horrifying vibe is achieved through otherwise basic playing. Not a technical record, but one that rivals many of that type.

Album Review: King Diamond - Fatal Portrait

King Diamond - Fatal Portrait

Roadrunner Records - 1986

9.5/10

To many, the debut King Diamond record acts as the bridge connecting a gap between early Mercyful Fate and the iconic concept-oriented trajectory. To me, Fatal Portrait is not only more than just that, but solid proof that half a concept with some standalones can flow just as nicely. Bringing axeman Michael Denner and introducing Andy, Timi and Mikkey would certainly show some new colors, despite following the tighter approach evident on Don’t Break The Oath. However, I’d go as far as saying this is a step up on the songwriting front.

The “Molly” short story that the first four tracks (and closer) revolve around paint an extremely chilling picture with a glimpse at what would soon become staple; combining furious riff progressions with atmospheric effect, and a healthy serving of melody. Chants, deep synth notes, and a droning buzz contrast the heavy delivery perfectly, which already does a fantastic job of swinging in with accessible melodies on its own. On the back side, single-serving doses that raise the same hairs on one’s skin work so nicely that an untrained ear couldn’t even tell the whole record isn’t one full narrative. Moreover, despite the cleaner production, there still remains a dingy tint adding extra flavor to the darker passages, rounding things off beautifully.

Where King Diamond’s magic lies is right in the sweet spot found between all of this. Opener “The Candle” might be one of the spookiest openings to a record I’ve ever heard, being the perfect kickoff to a spooky-season staple. Its descent into pummeling drum kicks and faster rhythms let on lots of adrenaline right away, melting nicely into the more accessible “The Jonah.” “The Portrait” then feels more vocal centric as it jumps between falsetto melodies and shrieking outbursts, topped off with some of the strongest solos in the cracks. “Dressed In White” then wraps this segment up with arguably some of the most accessible rhythms, particularly in the opening licks and iconic singalong chorus. We’d return to this at the end with “Haunted,” which admittedly would have fit better here, but I can’t act like it doesn’t feel like a solid bookend.

Looking at the individual numbers, the same tactics are used piece by piece save for connecting the songs with one narrative. If there’s a single “scary rotten fun” tune to be had, it would be “Halloween” thanks to the maniacal laughs and catchy verses, though even here the stomping, deep rhythms are a sharp force meant to remind us of the dark situation we’re trapped in. On a similar note, “Charon” utilizes explosive riffs for that effect, sharing the forefront with King’s outbursts. It bridges nicely with “Lurking In The Dark,” putting more emphasis on the soloing right out of the gates. All that leaves is the instrumental “Voices From The Past,” invoking a hallway chase that never truly ends, perhaps to quickly achieve the feeling that all of Fatal Portrait aims for in one swift swoop. It’s like your horror anthology series put into an engaging trailer.

For some reason, this record seems to have mixed reviews amongst fans, and I can’t help but think some of that is chalked up to it not being the typical concept record King would become known for. More iconic and in-depth records would certainly follow, but the first run around truly has some of the greatest songwriting in both bands’ discography. On an individual track level, its chilling vibes are unmatched. As a bigger picture, it flows like the smoothest horror themed roller coaster you’ve ever been on.